Floral Avenger

  • Alexis: Nancy Jo, this is Alexis Neiers calling. I'm calling to let you know how dissapoin-
  • *answering machine picks up*
  • Alexis: Fuck.
  • Alexis: Nancy Jo, this is Alexis Neiers. I'm calling to let you know how disappointed I am in your story. How horrible you shit on me and-
  • Mom: YOU LIED! YOU FUCKING LIED! WHY'D YOU DO IT!
  • Alexis: STOP IT, MOM!
  • Mom: YOU LIED!
  • Alexis: STOP! STOP! GOD DAMMIT!
  • Alexis: Nancy Jo, this is Alexis Neiers calling. I'm calling to let you know how disappointed I am in your story. There’s many things that I read in here that were false, like you saying that I wore six inch Louboutins heels to court with my tweed skirt, when I wore four inch little brown Bebe shoes.
  • Mom: 29 DOLLARS!
  • Alexis: EVERYTIME YOU FUCKING YELL, I HAVE TO RE-RECORD IT!
  • Alexis: Nancy Jo, this is Alexis Neiers calling. I’m calling to let you know how disappointed I am in your story and the light you shed on me when I am going through such a hard time in my life. I opened up to you so that way the world could potentially know what a great, amazing, talented, strong, *mom starts crying* healthy, girl that I am – not even a girl – young woman. I am petrified! Petrified with this story!
  • Mom: *grunts*
  • Alexis: I’m so disappointed, and I’m letting you know that I will clear this up. Have a nice life. Goodbye.
  • Mom: That was beautiful. You did such a good job of expressing yourself.
oldloves:

Winona Ryder & Matt Damon at the Golden Globe Awards, 2000

oldloves:

Winona Ryder & Matt Damon at the Golden Globe Awards, 2000